Hi all,
I thought I would share my profits for Matched Betting Extra Place Horse Racing for Jan 21. January 2021 has turned into my best month of Matched Betting since I started way back in Summer 2018. This months profits are roughly £4,707. A life changing figure for many and a great figure seeing this is achievable on top of a full time job. Matched Betting is the only decent side hustle I have actually found, compared to doing hundreds of boring online surveys...yuck! (Unless you are a good business person / have 5 lodgers / lots of family money etc.) To see some of my other Matched Betting profits you visit my site: https://cashontheside.co.uk/
I will be investing some of my profits this month in ETF/Shares and putting into house improvements like a new drive way. In addition with Cheltenham horse festival coming up in March, I will be increasing my bank to cover liabilities.
The bulk of my profits came from Extra Place racing, large underlayed winners and BOG (best offer garuntee). Variance was certainly on my side this month and I must have had at least 10 large winners which won upwards of £1600 pounds per bet. As I underlay my bets I made more profit than If I had fully layed of the bets. About 5% of these profits came from low risk casino. After you have completed all welcome offers...in Matched Betting. Ep's become a gold mine...and I truly recommend them to anyone.
Some more of my bets this month illustrating underlayed bets and ep:
https://cashonthesidecouk.files.wordpress.com/2021/02/winnings4.jpg
https://cashonthesidecouk.files.wordpress.com/2021/02/winnings.jpg
https://cashonthesidecouk.files.wordpress.com/2021/02/another-winner.jpg

Images of one of my bets illustrative of Best offer guarantee: https://cashonthesidecouk.files.wordpress.com/2021/01/136707133_10159536662702922_8507610622687908137_o-1.jpg?w=544
For those who are starting out on their Match Betting journey in 2021 these sort of figures are achievable to you once you have experience….unfortunately this will not come overnight! I do put a lot of time into it..between 2-5 hours a day, 7 days a week sometimes. For the average person you could earn at least £500 a month.
To learn more about Match Betting please visit my article Boost Your Income with Matched Betting. Alternatively you can start an Odds Monkey free trial where they will teach you step by step and give you the calculators you need: odds monkey trial https://www.oddsmonkey.com/affiliates/affiliate.php?id=64754(affiliate) or www.oddsmonkey.com. (non affiliate)
To those with a little more experience who want to learn about Matched Betting Extra Places you can visit my guide here Extra Place Match Betting tips here or I have copied and pasted it all below.
For those with Matched Betting Experience - my guide and tips to Extra Places:
What is Extra Place Matched Betting?
Extra Places can be a very lucrative technique to learn. Extra Places are available for us to do pretty much every day, increasing the appeal. Extra Place Offers are available to all customers. This means that even if you get gubbed with a bookmaker, in most cases, you can still make money with them by Matched Betting on their Extra Place Offers.
Extra Places are considered an advanced reload offer, as they not risk-free. However once you have gained some experience on more basic horse racing offers, you can start to take advantage of the lucrative profits available. It may sound complicated but as soon as it ‘clicks’, it becomes simple. Essentially we are taking advantage of the bookies and exchanges paying out if the horse you have backed comes a certain ‘place’ in a race e.g. 4th.
Extra Places combined with additional offers such as BOG (Best Offer Guarantee) can mean additional profits. For example, you back a horse at odds of 15 and then the starting odds move up to 23. If that horse wins you win an extra x8 on your bet. You can see some real life scenarios I found of Extra Place combined with BOG below. Depending on the size of the underlay, profits below would range up to £3,000+

What is a ‘place’ in horse racing?

Quite simply a ‘place’ is the position the horse finishes a race in. For example if a horse wins a race it comes 1st, if a horse comes 2nd its 2nd. In some races with a large number of horses some bookies will pay out if a horse finishes the race in 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th position. Horse Racing festivals such as Cheltenham or Ascot are particularly well known for this.

What is an ‘Extra Place’ in horse racing?

Now we’ve understood what a place is in horse racing you may have probably already guessed what an ‘extra place’ is going to be! An ‘extra place’ is where the bookies add one (or more) additional places to their standard place classification on a particular race. For example they may offer to ‘pay 7 places on a race’ instead of the standard 3 places. The ‘extra place’ in this instance cover 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th.
What are my Extra Place top tips?

Some of my biggest profits have come from big underlayed winners and BOG. I typically underlay most of my bets by about 20% sometimes more. If you are starting out I would underlay on the place only by about 10% to play it safe until you learn more.
Don’t bet on more places than a bookmaker is offering. E.g. If the bookmaker is offering 4 places don’t bet on more than that.
Whilst your learning, take horses on implied odds of at least 12 or more on a match of 80%+.
Look to keep qualifying losses down. E.g. for £100 profit, £5 ql.
Please note, the best odds are typically found between 10 minutes up and to race time. You have to be quick on your ‘toes’…learn to walk before you run etc. Start out on easy horse racing officers before doing extra places.
You will need a bank of at least £1000+ for your exchanges, ideally more. The more you have the more of the field you can cover. You can do EP with several hundred in your exchange but you won’t be able to make bigger profits.
Be consistent, don’t take risks, don’t chase your losses and learn from matched betting extra place forums.
Keep the Odds Monkey up throughout the day...and check for good matches.
Use Bookies Boosts to increase your odds and matches.
Do not give in to your fear of missing out on offers…Tomorrow is another day.
Have at least a dual monitoscreen setup. It is important to be able to see exchange, books and calcs.

How do I find Extra Places offers?
I use the the Odds Monkey Extra Place Matcher to find the best opportunities for profit. The Matcher is explained in the below video.
https://youtu.be/oOKAdiSJidg
I am also a regular visitor of the active Odds Monkey community forums. You can sign up for an Odds Monkey free trial today here today https://www.oddsmonkey.com/affiliates/affiliate.php?id=64754 www.oddsmonkey.com (non affiliate). Odds Monkey provide you with the all guides, calculators etc. I have been a member for over 2.4 years now.
Feel free to get in touch or ask below if any questions.

Wizard Tournament: Chapter 59

First | Previous | Next
      “Well I’ve got to try something. I think Tenna’s going to try to face off against that robot and if she does it’s going to kill her unless I can convince it not to. I think she’s trying to work up the nerve. You saw her smoke that canne’ka stuff.”
      Sylnya gestured for Draevin to follow. “Let’s walk.” The pair headed off in a direction Draevin quickly realized was aiming for the betting cages. Though he knew where they were, Draevin tended to avoid that section of the arena. “Don’t you think it would be easier to talk Tenna out of fighting?” Sylnya asked.
      Draevin shook his head firmly. “I don’t think that would work. This is her first time making it to the second round and I know that’s a big deal for her. If I try to push her to drop out all I’m going to do is spoil our friendship.”
      Sylnya gave Draevin a sideways look. “That’s… surprisingly perceptive of you.” She reached out a hand and smacked him on the forehead.
      “Hey!”
      “Just making sure you’re not one of Peter’s illusions.”
      “What? You don’t think I know what it’s like to have veteran contestants doubting you when you’re still new?”
      “I just didn’t realize you knew how to put yourself in someone else’s shoes is all.”
      They reached the edge of the mass of people surrounding the betting cages. It was truly the most eclectic mix of races anywhere around. Lizard-kin, dwarves, elves, eldrin, orcs… even a few humans were milling about! And on closer inspection Draevin saw a few gnomes flitting around in the gaps several heads lower to the ground then others. Sylnya was the only dryad. Beyond the crowd was a long section of wall with a window of metal caging separating the crowd from the Guild bookies. The atmosphere was always frantic and loud and today was no exception.
      A tall orc stood on a platform among the crowd where he could cast a series of lithomancy spells to keep the board of numbers above the windows updated. As they approached someone from behind the window shouted something at him and he moved his hands in a practiced motion and Draevin saw the numbers next to his own name change. “They’re already taking bets on my match with Gro’shak? So soon? I just defeated Anise barely an hour ago.”
      Sylnya shrugged. “Then they’ve probably been taking bets for at least that long. But don’t worry. The odds are in your favor and climbing.”
      “Is that supposed to help me somehow?”
      “Well you can bet on yourself. If you buy in now you can probably get a better pay-out than they’ll be offering tomorrow.”
      Draevin wrinkled his nose. “That’s in bad taste.”
      “Suit yourself.” Sylnya waved an arm up high and one of the bookies behind the window gave her a friendly wave. It was the only dryad working behind the counter, and she shooed away the customers in front of her to make room for Sylnya. Compared to Sylnya’s stringy vines, this dryad’s hair was a spiky cluster of what looked like grass. “Hey, Nim!”
      “Syl! I saw your bet on that human go through this morning and I almost didn’t believe it!” The bookie, Nim apparently, reached her hands through the bar and Sylnya grabbed hers back and they started jumping up and down excitedly.
      “Isn’t it great?” Sylnya said with a huge grin. “That kid is smart as a whip, I just knew he was gonna come up with something for that werebeast!” Nim pulled her hands back through the bars and gave Draevin a questioning look. “You know Draevin, right Nim? He’s just tagging along.”
      “We haven’t been formally introduced, but I know of him, yeah.”
      Draevin gave an awkward smile. “Consider yourself introduced.”
      Sylnya put her ticket on the counter and Nim quickly snatched it up. “Right,” the slender grassy dryad said. “Let’s get you paid.” She studied the ticket for a moment and frowned. “Hmmm. It seems you’ve exceeded the cash limit.”
      “Wow! Really? I haven’t done that in ages!”
      In a moment Nim’s eyes went from the flat seriousness of business to wide with emotion. “Exciting, right? You can withdraw up to the cash limit now if you like and we can transfer the difference to your bank. We still have your account information on file from last time.”
      Sylnya shook her head. “That won’t be necessary—”
      “Betting on yourself?” Nim finished. Sylnya didn’t even look upset at the presumption.
      “You know it! I can chat more after my match, but Drae and I have one more errand to run before then.”
      Nim gave Sylnya a smile as she quickly filled out another ticket and handed it over. “Don’t worry about it, I know you’re busy.” She bobbed her head at Draevin. “Nice meeting you, Drae. Good luck on your match, Syl.” Without any further farewell Sylnya led Draevin in stepping away from the window and a seedy-looking dwarf quickly pushed forward to take their spot. “Weg!” Draevin heard Nim saying just as warmly as she had to them, “I heard about your bet on…”
      “I don’t like that girl,” Draevin grumbled as he pushed their way out of the betting crowd. “She’s too nice.”
      “Too nice?” Sylnya asked. “Really? Is that why you like me so much? Because I’m rude to you all the time?”
      “At least you’re honest about it.”
      They reached the edge of the crowd and Sylnya brought them to a stop. “They’re going to be calling my match soon; do you still want to go see that robot?”
      Draevin lowered his brow and pushed past Sylnya. It was time for him to lead now. “Of course I am. What made you think I was going to change my mind in the last five minutes?”
      “Hope?” he heard her say questioningly from behind while he forged ahead without her. “How do you even know you can have a conversation with that thing? You know it doesn’t have a handler, right?”
      Draevin headed into the main arena. He’d seen Unit-17 resting on top of some storage boxes right above the service tunnel the contestants used. It’d been there every day without fail observing the matches and so far he hadn’t seen anyone approach it. It was perched in an area not used for crowd seating but even the Guild had apparently not wanted to move the shiny robot. “Well if it doesn’t work it doesn’t work,” Draevin hedged as he walked down the steps to the quiet corner the robot was sitting in. “I hardly think it will hurt just to ask.”
      Sure enough, Unit-17 was sitting right where he’d expected to find it. It wasn’t floating like it normally did, but its single glass eye was glowing with a dim inner red light. The robot was an unremarkable roundish shape with thick plates of metal fixed to the surface all around to hide whatever was inside. It did seem to have a decent view of the grounds from where it had chosen to perch itself. Draevin approached the machine and cleared his throat. He waited what he thought was a polite amount of time but it did not react to his presence at all.
      “Unit-17, I would like to discuss something with you,” he tried instead. He wasn’t sure if it even cared about politeness, but he decided to play it safe.
      The red light behind its singular eye brightened a hair. “This unit will not discuss any classified information,” a hollow synthesized voice echoed out from within the machine. “Are these terms acceptable, contestant Draevin?”
      Draevin pulled his neck back a bit in surprise. “You already know my name?”
      “Are these terms acceptable, contestant Draevin?” the robot repeated.
      “Yeah,” Sylnya muttered in Draevin’s ear, “I can tell this conversation is going to be reeeeal productive.” She jerked her thumb behind her. “I’ll be close by, come get me when you’re done.”
      Draevin nodded his agreement and answered Unit-17’s question. “Yes, those terms are acceptable.”
      The red light in the robot’s eye flickered briefly. “Contestant Draevin has been given level zero access,” it announced. Draevin wasn’t really sure what that meant but it didn’t sound like a bad thing. “You may now proceed. What is your inquiry, contestant Draevin?”
      “I was hoping we could make a deal.”
      The robot slowly turned until its eye was looking right at Draevin before responding. “This unit is prepared to make any deals that increase its probability of success,” it finally said in its synthesized monotone.
      “Are you familiar with the concept of Mutual Assurance?” Draevin asked the robot.
      “Mutual Assurance: An agreement between dueling wizards to inflict non-lethal injuries on each other—sometimes insured through extra punitive measures by the Wizard’s Guild. This unit is familiar with the concept of Mutual Assurance.”
      “Great,” Draevin said. “So I want to make a Mutual Assurance pact between you and—”
      “Declined,” Unit-17 interrupted. “This unit calculates that a Mutual Assurance with contestant Draevin will reduce the probability of victory in the tournament by zero point three two percent.”
      Draevin scowled at the machine but got no reaction. “You didn’t let me finish. I wasn’t trying to arrange a Mutual Assurance pact with me.”
      The robot’s eye briefly flickered. “This unit is prepared to make any deals that increase its probability of success. What is your inquiry, contestant Draevin?”
      Draevin sighed. “Like talking to a brick wall. Uhh… will ‘this unit’ accept a Mutual Assurance Pact with contestant Tenna?”
      “Declined,” Unit-17 replied. “This unit calculates that a Mutual Assurance with contestant Tenna will reduce the probability of victory in the tournament by zero point one three percent.”
      Draevin rubbed his temple. His plan didn’t seem to be working. “You do realize that if Tenna agrees to this she’ll have to pull her punches against you, right? Wouldn’t that maybe increase your chances of winning?”
      The robot’s eyes flickered again before answering. “This unit’s assessment of contestant Tenna is classified. This unit calculates that a Mutual Assurance Pact with contestant Tenna—”
      “Yeah, yeah,” Draevin interrupted it right back. “I heard you the first time. Is there anything I could offer that would make you agree to a pact?”
      That got the robot thinking. The red eye flicked off and on for a long moment before it finally responded. “This unit has calculated that matching against contestant Gro’shak in round four will increase the probability of victory in the tournament by fifteen point six nine percent. If contestant Draevin will agree to concede his match against contestant Gro’shak this unit will agree to a Mutual Assurance Pact with contestant Tenna.”
      Draevin’s jaw almost dropped open. Was it really that easy? Did this robot not realize that it would face Tenna before he faced Gro’shak and that it had no way of enforcing an idiotic deal like that? “Uhh, yeah, sure. I can agree to that.”
      The robot’s eye flickered again while he considered his response. “What is your name?”
      “Draevin Getano.”
      “Do you desire victory in this tournament?”
      Draevin almost answered automatically before realizing the robot must be trying to size him up. “No,” he said cautiously.
      “Will you concede your match against contestant Gro’shak in exchange for this agreement?”
      Hell no. Not in a million years. “Yes.”
      “Will you verbally state your intention to concede before this unit faces contestant Tenna?”
      It had him there. “You know I can’t do that. How will I know you’ll hold up your end after you get what you want? Wouldn’t it ‘increase your probability’ to lie to me?”
      The robot paused to think for a bit. It was really nothing like holding a normal conversation. Draevin glanced longingly Sylnya’s way and saw her lounging in a nearby seat scratching her shadow stalker behind the ears. “This unit has calculated there is a four point one percent chance that contestant Draevin will comply with the terms of this agreement. This will increase the probability of victory in the tournament by zero point six five percent.”
      Draevin scratched his chin. Apparently it thought there was like a ninety-five percent chance Draevin was lying about conceding to Gro’shak yet it was still willing to make a deal. That suited Draevin just fine. He just wouldn’t have to feel guilty about not conceding to Gro’shak. “So you said accepting Mutual Assurance with Tenna reduced your chances of winning by point one three right? Point six five is bigger. Does that mean you’ll agree to the pact?”
      “Confirmed. This agreement will produce a net increase in this unit’s probability of victory in the tournament by zero point five one percent. This unit will agree to a Mutual Assurance Pact with contestant Tenna in exchange for a promise from contestant Draevin to concede his match against contestant Gro’shak.”
      Draevin couldn’t believe it was that simple. “Does that mean… the deal is set?”
      “Confirmed. This unit has agreed to—”
      “Cool, got it,” Draevin interrupted. He had no desire to hear the damn thing repeat itself endlessly. “See you later then.” He turned back to Sylnya and made a walking gesture with two fingers. She raised an eyebrow and popped out of her seat.
      “Finally got sick of trying to talk to that thing?” Sylnya asked as she joined Draevin in climbing back up the stairs to the main hall. “You know, I heard the Guild sent a dozen wizards to try to move that robot from where it’s sitting but it just kept going on about how having a good view would increase its probability of victory and they finally just caved and left it alone. I could have told you it was a waste of time.” Sylnya tapped her chin dramatically. “In fact, I’m pretty sure I did just that.”
      “What are you on about?” Draevin said with a shit-eating grin. “We reached an agreement. The robot agreed not to kill Tenna.”
      Sylnya actually stopped walking. “What? No way! How’d you get it to agree to that?”
      Draevin shrugged his shoulders. “All I had to do is lie and promise to concede my match against Gro’shak. Apparently it would much rather fight that old mystic than me, so it must think I’m the bigger threat.”
      The pair reached the main hall and it looked like the crowd had thinned out considerably. That had to mean the intermission was coming to a close. Just on time, Maeve’s announcement came. “Ladies and gentlemen. Please make your way to your seats, the next match between Shea and Sylnya will begin shortly.”
      “Oh, Syl! We never talked about your match! Did you have a plan? I seem to recall you beat Shea last time you fought but she didn’t have the Conch then, that’s a powerful item.”
      Sylnya sneered. “Don’t even get me started. The damn thing uses sea water! I can’t just drink it up like last time.”
      “So… you don’t have a plan?”
      They reached the Guild guards at the entrance to the service tunnel and Sylnya stopped there. “Of course I have a plan. Peter and I talked strategy this morning. Haven’t you noticed how shiny my skin is? Wax. It should keep me from wilting too badly, but I’m still not looking forward to getting that taste in my mouth.”
      As soon as she pointed it out Draevin could see there was a shiny gloss to Sylnya’s bright green skin that he hadn’t noticed. It was such a simple way to protect against salt water. “Glad to hear it. Good luck then.”
      Instead of gripping Draevin in a hug like she normally did Sylnya reached up to her ear and pulled off some kind of green bud. “Oh hey, can you hold this for me until I get out? I don’t want it to set off the wards on the fighter’s box.”
      Draevin held out his hand. “A magical item? What is it?” Once she’d pulled it out Draevin saw that it was a little ball of green the same color as her skin with a metal needle sticking out the back. He hadn’t even noticed it was there before she’d taken it off.
      “A Screecher. What else? You didn’t think I was going to walk around with no mental protections after what Tomrha did to me, did you?”
      Draevin looked again at the little earring. “But Screechers are pink crystals. Is this some kind of custom job?”
      Sylnya just chuckled. “Not really. Peter just covered it in green paint. He matched my skin tone perfectly. You basically can’t even notice it’s there!”
      “Paint?” It was so unsophisticated, but as soon as Draevin thought about it he realized it was actually pretty clever. If a cerebromancer didn’t realize she was wearing a Screecher they might unknowingly expose themselves when they tried to peek into her mind. Everywhere he looked Draevin kept seeing Peter’s influence.
Index | Next| Patreon | Discord

Profit Accumulator (Quick Easy £300)

Casa de apostas BetWinner

BetWinner is one of the world’s largest online betting sites, and they offer everything, from an online sportsbook to an online casino. They’re known for offering an extensive selection of markets and also have unrivaled customer support. Their bonuses are also great, and you’ll be able to find great BetWinner promo code offers available to new customers.
In this BetWinnerreview, we’re going to be giving you an impartial, honest and in-depth look into this popular bookmaker – and what they have to offer when it comes to esports. For example, we’ll cover the BetWinner app, BetWinner esports markets, payment options and more. Let’s kick things off with a look at our editor’s review of the site, following by looking at the main BetWinner bonus offer, available to all new customers.

EDITOR’S REVIEW

BETWINNER

Esports Offered
Customer Service
Deposit Options
Player Value

Summary
BetWinner is a major name in the eSports betting industry and for good reason. They offer a vast selection of markets, but it’s not just their eSports that make them so desirable.
They also offer a substantial number of other sporting markets and events, with coverage all over the world. They offer more than 140 different payment methods (so there’s something for everyone), and their well-made, secure and reliable website makes betting easy. They also have a mobile app, which we’ll talk about later.
3.9

BETWINNER BONUS OFFERS

BetWinner’s new-customer welcome bonus is one of the most generous around – and you’ll be able to enjoy a 100% matched deposit bonus up to 100 EUR! It’s incredibly easy to claim the bonus; all you need to do is register an account and top up your account with up to 100 Euros. Your bonus will then be credited to your account automatically. Please note, the minimum deposit required in order to claim the bonus is 1 EUR.
You also may need to “agree” to receive the bonus, depending on which country you reside in. This can be done within the “Account Settings” page, or directly from the “Deposit” page.
The bonus comes with wagering requirements of 5X, which is pretty good overall. You also need to include at least 3 or more events in any accumulator bets, and at least 3 of these events must have odds of 1.40 or higher. You can read the full bonus terms and conditions from BetWinner’s main “Bonus” page.
Along with a hugely generous main welcome bonus offer, BetWinner also offers a wide variety of ongoing promotions. These are subject to change at any time, and they tend to bring out new offers weekly – but it’s common to see money-back specials, BetWinner promo code giveaways, and more. You can view full details of any ongoing (or upcoming) promotions from their “PROMO” tab which is found on the top-most navigation menu on their site.
📷
© BETWINNER

BETWINNER ESPORTS BETTING MARKETS

A major part of writing this BetWinner review was taking a look at their esports betting markets. BetWinner offers a fantastic selection to choose from, and you’ll find everything from WarCraft III, PUBG, CS:GO, Dota 2, King of Glory and Rainbow Six.
Many BetWinner esports markets also offer a comprehensive selection of betting markets for you to choose from. For example, let’s take a look at one of their events: CS:GO. ESL One Road to Tio – Winstrike vs Syman.
Of course, you’ll find yourself able to bet on the overall match winner, but there’s a plethora of other markets available too. For example, you can attempt to guess the correct score – with lucrative payouts if you manage to do so. There’s a “Total Maps” market, and a “Total Maps Handicap” market. You’ll also find a “Total Maps Even/Odd” market providing even more betting options.
You can also put esports bets into other types of bet, including accumulators, system and chain bets. You’ll often see “recommended” bets further down the betting page when you enter a specific event page.
One of the things we really like about BetWinner is that they make it really easy to view even odds. For example, when they’re running lol events, you can easily and quickly view lol betting odds right from the main “esports” page. You can then click on a specific event to view a more comprehensive breakdown of the specific bet types which are available for that event.

HOW TO OPEN AN ACCOUNT WITH BETWINNER?

BetWinner makes it very easy to open an account. They have a one-click registration process for players from certain countries. You can also press the “Registration” button to open your account using a phone number.

Step 1: Choose your country, currency and enter a promo code if you have one.
Step 2: You will then receive your username and password.
Step 3: Add your email address and you’re ready to bet!

BETWINNER MOBILE APP

A big part of writing this BetWinner review was looking at the BetWinner app. It’s designed to let you place esports bets while on the move and is available to download – free of charge – on all iOS and Android devices.
The BetWinner app is smooth, well-made and easy-to-use. There’s a handy navigation menu positioned in the upper right-hand-corner of the screen, and this lets you work your way around. It’s possible to register an account directly from the app if you’re a new customer. If you already have a BetWinner account, you can log into the app using TouchID once you’ve entered your username and password once.
We tested out the app extensively while writing this BetWinner review. We really like the way you can search directly for events. Esports are far from being the most popular betting market offered at bookies today, so you won’t usually see them featured on the home page. Thankfully, using the app, you can search directly for the markets you want. Placing bets is also simple, and once you’ve added selections to your bet slip it’s a one-click process to confirm the bet amount and place it.
We should also point out that you don’t have to download BetWinner’s mobile app if you prefer not to. They also have a fully-functional mobile-optimized website, which allows you to place bets through your mobile device’s internet browser. It’s worth keeping an eye on their mobile promotions too, as there are sometimes special BetWinner bonus offers for mobile.

IS BETWINNER LEGIT?

In our opinion, BetWinner is one of the most trustworthy and reliable esports betting sites. For the purpose of writing this BetWinner review, we wanted to find out more about their licensing – and who actually regulates them. BetWinner holds a valid online gambling license from the Government of Curacao. This ensures the bookie adheres to strict rules and regulations and allows them to offer their services to customers all over the world.
This sportsbook website is also very secure. They use the latest HTTPS technology alongside state-of-the-art encryption. Not only does this make the overall betting experience faster, smoother and more reliable – it also ensures that your personal information/sensitive details are safe and secure.

Choosing the Best Sportsbook

Starving for a new offer

ZigZagSport - free bet, no deposit bonus, promo code

Games Bet Bonus Codes

2021 Bonus Promo Codes for Casino

Bonus Promo Codes for Bingo

Fire Me? You’re All Losing Your Jobs.

My 2019 was wild. But with everything finally on the up and up, I feel I can tell this story here.

After uni (late 2018), I fell on rough times and was forced to move back to my home town. I tried to transfer my job to a branch in my area but failed, thus I needed to get a new job.
I settled for a 20 hour a week job at a bookies, with a second bar tending job in the evenings. The bookies is the target for my revenge, which was entirely accidental.
Involved are the following:

Janelle - My managers manager
Shay - My manager
Jorge and Gordan - my co-workers

^and,

Kara - a co-worker at another store (who is relevant later)

^\NAMES CHANGED AND/OR REDACTED])
I ended up working behind the counter as a customer service manager, basically a step up from a cashier. It’s fancy when seen on a CV but there’s nothing really to it. I took bets, chatted with customers, helped people with machines and (for the vast majority of my shift) sat around waiting for something to do. I got on well with my co-workers (or so I thought) and had no major issues.
It was 20 hours a week, about £1 more than minimum wage with a lot of overtime required of me and irregular shift patterns. Though I had no issue with the job, beyond how difficult it was to juggle the schedules of both of my jobs.
In February of 2019 (after working for the company for 6 months) I was invited to a Probation hearing. It cannot be emphasised enough that it was a Probation hearing in which I would have my performance reviewed and (as informed in training) was entitled to a pay rise at the end of it.
I arrived that morning to a Disciplinary Hearing where, without even a shred of evidence, I was accused of 11 different cash discrepancies dating back to early November of 2018 (shortly after I’d started) which all amounted to £271.36. All but one of which I’d never heard of before.
These had apparently been reported and logged by my manager (Shay) and my co-workers, despite no one saying a word to me at all. Not a whisper in the 5 months this had apparently been occurring.
I was told that it was unacceptable, a call was made to HR and I was terminated on the spot and forced to hand over my keys and to never set foot in the store again. To my protests I was told the decision could not be appealed and I would eventually receive written confirmation of my employments termination in the post.
I didn’t let myself slump around and feel sorry for myself, so (on the way home) I opened up Indeed and applied for a bunch of jobs and (before I arrived home) had an interview set up for the next week at what is my current place of work.
Now, I was FURIOUS. Fuming at having gone to what I thought should have been a normal probation meeting and having (effectively) been called a thief and been banned for life from a place I’d never go to anyway. But somehow, my parents were angrier and ordered me to let them know when they got into contact with me again.
Almost two weeks later I received an EMAIL from the companies HR which reiterated the accusations and stated (again) that I was terminated. My mum sat me down in her kitchen and walked me through a letter response that was two parts professional and three parts scathing. Ripping into them about their unprofessional conduct, their ludicrous claims, their lack of evidence, the holes in their story (because their were quite a few) and finally, the cherry on the cake...
The employment laws they’d broken.
Now I didn’t want much, just a nice reference. A promise that not a whisper of these accusations would turn up when my new job asked them for a reference (because, by then, I’d already been offered the job). I then attached the letter to an email to fire back at their HR department.
Then I added Janelle’s work email. Then her bosses email and finally, the holding company that owned the brand. Cause I wanted to make sure this was seen.
A bit of background, the bookies I worked for is a brand that is owned by an international company, their name (behind the scenes) is slapped on everything and they pretty much dictate everything we did. I’m not sure if holding company is the correct term, but I’ll stick to that for now.
Anyway, I sent this email with a fourty-eight hour window for a response. I received a reply the next day from the same email that my demands were being met. I smirked victoriously and moved on with my life, happy to wash my hands with the entire ordeal. However, I’d set off a chain reaction that I wouldn’t know about until three months later.
Three months on, I’d settled into my new job, a call centre position with double the hours and well over double the pay.
I’d gone through training and was settling into my new position when I see a new set of trainees settling in near my team. Among them was Gordan, one of my co-workes from the bookies.
I was stunned. Gordan had been at the bookies for six years when I joined. He was well liked, good at his job and a favourite of the managers. There was no way he’d been fired.
Though I didn’t really want to talk to him (as I was of the impression that he, Jorge and my manager had likely set me up) I did want to know what happened.
Luckily, on seeing me in the break room one shift, he sought me out and told me everything.
Apparently my email had been read by the higher ups in the holding company and had caused a lot of scrutiny to fall onto the bookies in our town (of which there were three in our area that Janelle was responsible for, two in my town and a third in a neighbouring one). Someone in HR passed a message down to the Area Manager (Janelle’s boss) claiming they wanted things investigated and they wanted results yesterday, causing him to drop everything and descend on our little town with the panic and aggression of a man who’s superiors were watching his every breath.
He went to Janelle wanting to know: why he hadn’t been made aware previously that I was apparently stealing money, why I had been given keys to the shop and shifts on my own when allegations of that nature were attributed to me AND why I hadn’t been put under investigation. Turns out, Janelle HAD in fact put in my ‘employee file’ that I was under investigation but had never actually gone through with any of the official procedures for monitoring and investigating me ^{(shock horror}). Thus she had fired me for the accused crime without looking into it at all, falsely claiming otherwise.
Thus, the Area Manager took the dates and amounts of the cash discrepancies, confirmed that they had been reported on those days (without my knowledge) in Shay’s own log book of the shops cash, and sent that information onto our security team to investigate.
Another little detail is that the CCTV for every shop in the brand is outsourced to a private security company who monitors each shop remotely and has access to all the camera’s and video. As was procedure, they looked into the dates mentioned to see if I’d been doing anything untoward. I know I wasn’t and nothing was ever said to me.
But they DID find something...
Turns out, money WAS going missing from the shop but (surprise surprise) it wasn’t me, but Jorge and Shay. They not only set me up (for reasons I will never know) but were also falsifying numbers and cash checks on the system to hide it. One thing Shay was caught doing was deliberately short changing customers by taking portions of their winnings without them even knowing it (bear in mind, a lot of our customers were elderly men and women).
Gordan claims that he once opened the shop (after I and Shay had closed the night before) and noticed a cash difference but had been told not to say anything to me as I was under investigation and it could compromise it. He did apologise and I let it go.
Needless to say, Jorge and Shay were fired.
But it doesn’t end there.
Our team was small, including me there were a total of four people working at the store. As they hadn’t been able to hire anyone to replace me, Jorge and Shay’s termination meant Gordan was the only employee at the busiest shop in our area. Even if they’d been able to get other colleagues from the two other shops to help out, it wouldn’t have been enough to keep the shop open and manage the amount of customers. So they closed the location down until they could get the staff to run it.
It was at that point that Gordan handed in his resignation and applied for his job at my work. Meaning they had no one.
On top of that, Gordan’s girlfriend worked in the same shop as Janelle and she relayed that she was rarely at their store (in the other town) for the next few weeks before the Area Manager reported she was fired as well. No reason given to her.
I was later issued an apology for everything by the Area Manager and informed she (Janelle) was no longer with the company in an email some time later.
But SOMEHOW, it doesn’t end there.
With the store I worked at closed (this one being on the high street and where most people preferred to go), the only other location in town was the MUCH smaller location in the suburbs. The one where Kara worked. ALONE.
She suddenly received an influx of customers into her tiny store space and absolutely no support from other staff or upper management. Thus, for her own mental health (having already been overworked and underpaid, running an entire store by herself) she quit, meaning that location had to be closed down too.
All of this at the worst possible time, March, when the Cheltenham Festival was occurring. Which is a HUGE money maker for the gambling industry, even in a small town like ours.
An opportunity the three other bookies on the high-street reaped the benefits of instead of my old place, as the former customers went to them instead.
As it currently stands, just over a year later, both shops remain closed and I’m currently entering a job in cyber-security, the training for which I paid for with my current job.
Thanks for firing me dumbasses, you did me a favour.
(TL/DR: I was fired for false claims of theft. I complained to the higher ups. The real culprits lost their jobs, every shop in town closed down and they lost out on a bunch of money and customers)

《▪︎》《▪︎》《▪︎》《▪︎》《▪︎》《▪︎》《▪︎》《▪︎》

UPDATE

^This ^massively ^blew ^up, ^thanks ^for ^the ^support ^and ^everything ^x
Gordan and I got in touch with our old Area Manager and we were able to get a bit more information:
The security team rifled through about three years worth of footage after they found out about Jorge and Shay and have estimated that (in that period alone) they both stole nearly £4,000 through various means. The parent company also got involved and searched through years worth of their cash checks and till checks and noted plenty of irregularities.
The parent company persued criminal charges and the two were arrested but, as far as our Area Manager knows, the case is still ongoing. He thinks it's because they are still looking into how much they actually stole (as they've both been there a while, Jorge about 8 years and Shay 10 years). I doubt they'll have security footage of all that time, but I bet they're trying to get a more accurate figure to really nail them.
And in comes a new character: Tammy (obviously not her real name). She is an employee who was hired and fired shortly before I was, at the same store. She lasted just past her probation before she was fired, wait for it, for months worth of cash differences and false till checks she wasn't made aware of prior.
HOWEVER, her situation is FAR worse than mine. Tammy is in the process of suing the company for wrongful termination (alongside financial and emotional damages) as she was put under a lot of stress whilst in the job by Shay (who apparently left her to fend for herself and would refuse to step in when customers got aggressive) and then had a miscarriage shortly after her employment was terminated.
Our Area Manager doesn't know anything more, as it's escalated and gone way above his head and I doubt I'll be able to get any more information on it. But I doubt the company's doing too well on that front and I wish her the best.
Gordan and I are considering reaching out to some of the other fired employees (of which he can name a few who were terminated for similar reasons) to get their side of things. But it seems very clear that what Shay and Jorge were doing was going on for a long time and I was only the latest scapegoat.
Janelle, unfortunately, is perfectly fine as far as I'm aware. Her husband and her opened a taxi company several years ago and she seems to have just got more involved with that. I haven't seen her so I wouldn't know. But she was terminated for gross misconduct and for not following procedure, which is kinda what I expected.
And Kara, who our Area Manager actually really dislikes (but is lovely and did not deserve what she went through) is doing okay. I've messaged her and she and her partner recently bought a house. She also got a job as an Events Manager at a local historical site. She's happier there as she actually has people to talk to at work and isn't alone anymore.
(TL/DR: Jorge and Shay are being prosecuted after stealing thousands, a former employee is suing after going through the same thing as me (but worse), Janelle is fine and so is Kara.)
Thank you again for all the awards, updoots and support x

11/17 - MAC ATTACK FREE PICK 07:00 PM - Buffalo vs Bowling Green

Poker Bet Bonus Cods

Free £5 bet with thepools.com

Betfred Promo Codes for Casino

888 Promo Codes for Casino

Betfred Promo Codes for Sports

888 Promo Codes for Sport

My 2019 was wild. But with everything finally on the up and up, I feel I can tell this story here.
After uni (late 2018), I fell on rough times and was forced to move back to my home town. I tried to transfer my job to a branch in my area but failed, thus I needed to get a new job.
I settled for a 20 hour a week job at a bookies, with a second bar tending job in the evenings. The bookies is the target for my revenge, which was entirely accidental.
Involved are the following:

Janelle - My managers manager
Shay - My manager
Jorge and Gordan - my co-workers
Kara - a co-worker at another store (who is relevant later)

[NAMES CHANGED AND/OR REDACTED]
I ended up working behind the counter as a customer service manager, basically a step up from a cashier. It’s fancy when seen on a CV but there’s nothing really to it. I took bets, chatted with customers, helped people with machines and (for the vast majority of my shift) sat around waiting for something to do. I got on well with my co-workers (or so I thought) and had no major issues.
It was 20 hours a week, about £1 more than minimum wage with a lot of overtime required of me and irregular shift patterns. Though I had no issue with the job, beyond how difficult it was to juggle the schedules of both of my jobs.
In February of 2019 (after working for the company for 6 months) I was invited to a Probation hearing. It cannot be emphasised enough that it was a Probation hearing in which I would have my performance reviewed and (as informed in training) was entitled to a pay rise at the end of it.
I arrived that morning to a Disciplinary Hearing where, without even a shred of evidence, I was accused of 11 different cash discrepancies dating back to early November of 2018 (shortly after I’d started) which all amounted to £271.36. All but one of which I’d never heard of before.
These had apparently been reported and logged by my manager (Shay) and my co-workers, despite no one saying a word to me at all. Not a whisper in the 5 months this had apparently been occurring.
I was told that it was unacceptable, a call was made to HR and I was terminated on the spot and forced to hand over my keys and to never set foot in the store again. To my protests I was told the decision could not be appealed and I would eventually receive written confirmation of my employments termination in the post.
I didn’t let myself slump around and feel sorry for myself, so (on the way home) I opened up Indeed and applied for a bunch of jobs and (before I arrived home) had an interview set up for the next week at what is my current place of work.
Now, I was FURIOUS. Fuming at having gone to what I thought should have been a normal probation meeting and having (effectively) been called a thief and been banned for life from a place I’d never go to anyway. But somehow, my parents were angrier and ordered me to let them know when they got into contact with me again.
Almost two weeks later I received an EMAIL from the companies HR which reiterated the accusations and stated (again) that I was terminated. My mum sat me down in her kitchen and walked me through a letter response that was two parts professional and three parts scathing. Ripping into them about their unprofessional conduct, their ludicrous claims, their lack of evidence, the holes in their story (because their were quite a few) and finally, the cherry on the cake...
The employment laws they’d broken.
Now I didn’t want much, just a nice reference. A promise that not a whisper of these accusations would turn up when my new job asked them for a reference (because, by then, I’d already been offered the job). I then attached the letter to an email to fire back at their HR department.
Then I added Janelle’s work email. Then her bosses email and finally, the holding company that owned the brand. Cause I wanted to make sure this was seen.
A bit of background, the bookies I worked for is a brand that is owned by an international company, their name (behind the scenes) is slapped on everything and they pretty much dictate everything we did. I’m not sure if holding company is the correct term, but I’ll stick to that for now.
Anyway, I sent this email with a fourty-eight hour window for a response. I received a reply the next day from the same email that my demands were being met. I smirked victoriously and moved on with my life, happy to wash my hands with the entire ordeal. However, I’d set off a chain reaction that I wouldn’t know about until three months later.
Three months on, I’d settled into my new job, a call centre position with double the hours and well over double the pay.
I’d gone through training and was settling into my new position when I see a new set of trainees settling in near my team. Among them was Gordan, one of my co-workes from the bookies.
I was stunned. Gordan had been at the bookies for six years when I joined. He was well liked, good at his job and a favourite of the managers. There was no way he’d been fired.
Though I didn’t really want to talk to him (as I was of the impression that he, Jorge and my manager had likely set me up) I did want to know what happened.
Luckily, on seeing me in the break room one shift, he sought me out and told me everything.
Apparently my email had been read by the higher ups in the holding company and had caused a lot of scrutiny to fall onto the bookies in our town (of which there were three in our area that Janelle was responsible for, two in my town and a third in a neighbouring one).
Someone in HR passed a message down to the Area Manager (Janelle’s boss) claiming they wanted things investigated and they wanted results yesterday, causing him to drop everything and descend on our little town with the panic and aggression of a man who’s superiors were watching his every breath.
He went to Janelle wanting to know: why he hadn’t been made aware previously that I was apparently stealing money, why I had been given keys to the shop and shifts on my own when allegations of that nature were attributed to me AND why I hadn’t been put under investigation.
Turns out, Janelle HAD in fact put in my ‘employee file’ that I was under investigation but had never actually gone through with any of the official procedures for monitoring and investigating me (shock horror). Thus she had fired me for the accused crime without looking into it at all, falsely claiming otherwise.
Thus, the Area Manager took the dates and amounts of the cash discrepancies, confirmed that they had been reported on those days (without my knowledge) in Shay’s own log book of the shops cash, and sent that information onto our security team to investigate.
Another little detail is that the CCTV for every shop in the brand is outsourced to a private security company who monitors each shop remotely and has access to all the camera’s and video. As was procedure, they looked into the dates mentioned to see if I’d been doing anything untoward. I know I wasn’t and nothing was ever said to me.
But they DID find something...
Turns out, money WAS going missing from the shop but (surprise surprise) it wasn’t me, but Jorge and Shay. They not only set me up (for reasons I will never know) but were also falsifying numbers and cash checks on the system to hide it.
One thing Shay was caught doing was deliberately short changing customers by taking portions of their winnings without them even knowing it (bear in mind, a lot of our customers were elderly men and women).
Gordan claims that he once opened the shop (after I and Shay had closed the night before) and noticed a cash difference but had been told not to say anything to me as I was under investigation and it could compromise it. He did apologise and I let it go.
Needless to say, Jorge and Shay were fired.
But it doesn’t end there.
Our team was small, including me there were a total of four people working at the store. As they hadn’t been able to hire anyone to replace me, Jorge and Shay’s termination meant Gordan was the only employee at the busiest shop in our area.
Even if they’d been able to get other colleagues from the two other shops to help out, it wouldn’t have been enough to keep the shop open and manage the amount of customers. So they closed the location down until they could get the staff to run it.
It was at that point that Gordan handed in his resignation and applied for his job at my work. Meaning they had no one.
On top of that, Gordan’s girlfriend worked in the same shop as Janelle and she relayed that she was rarely at their store (in the other town) for the next few weeks before the Area Manager reported she was fired as well. No reason given to her.
I was later issued an apology for everything by the Area Manager and informed she (Janelle) was no longer with the company in an email some time later.
But SOMEHOW, it doesn’t end there.
With the store I worked at closed (this one being on the high street and where most people preferred to go), the only other location in town was the MUCH smaller location in the suburbs. The one where Kara worked. ALONE.
She suddenly received an influx of customers into her tiny store space and absolutely no support from other staff or upper management. Thus, for her own mental health (having already been overworked and underpaid, running an entire store by herself) she quit, meaning that location had to be closed down too.
All of this at the worst possible time, March, when the Cheltenham Festival was occurring. Which is a HUGE money maker for the gambling industry, even in a small town like ours.
An opportunity the three other bookies on the high-street reaped the benefits of instead of my old place, as the former customers went to them instead.
As it currently stands, just over a year later, both shops remain closed and I’m currently entering a job in cyber-security, the training for which I paid for with my current job.
Thanks for firing me dumb****s, you did me a favour.

UPDATE

Gordan and I got in touch with our old Area Manager and we were able to get a bit more information:
The security team rifled through about three years worth of footage after they found out about Jorge and Shay and have estimated that (in that period alone) they both stole nearly £4,000 through various means. The parent company also got involved and searched through years worth of their cash checks and till checks and noted plenty of irregularities.
The parent company persued criminal charges and the two were arrested but, as far as our Area Manager knows, the case is still ongoing. He thinks it's because they are still looking into how much they actually stole (as they've both been there a while, Jorge about 8 years and Shay 10 years).
I doubt they'll have security footage of all that time, but I bet they're trying to get a more accurate figure to really nail them.
And in comes a new character: Tammy (obviously not her real name). She is an employee who was hired and fired shortly before I was, at the same store. She lasted just past her probation before she was fired, wait for it, for months worth of cash differences and false till checks she wasn't made aware of prior.
HOWEVER, her situation is FAR worse than mine. Tammy is in the process of suing the company for wrongful termination (alongside financial and emotional damages) as she was put under a lot of stress whilst in the job by Shay (who apparently left her to fend for herself and would refuse to step in when customers got aggressive) and then had a miscarriage shortly after her employment was terminated.
Our Area Manager doesn't know anything more, as it's escalated and gone way above his head and I doubt I'll be able to get any more information on it. But I doubt the company's doing too well on that front and I wish her the best.
Gordan and I are considering reaching out to some of the other fired employees (of which he can name a few who were terminated for similar reasons) to get their side of things. But it seems very clear that what Shay and Jorge were doing was going on for a long time and I was only the latest scapegoat.
Janelle, unfortunately, is perfectly fine as far as I'm aware. Her husband and her opened a taxi company several years ago and she seems to have just got more involved with that. I haven't seen her so I wouldn't know. But she was terminated for gross misconduct and for not following procedure, which is kinda what I expected.
And Kara, who our Area Manager actually really dislikes (but is lovely and did not deserve what she went through) is doing okay. I've messaged her and she and her partner recently bought a house. She also got a job as an Events Manager at a local historical site. She's happier there as she actually has people to talk to at work and isn't alone anymore.

Still game season 7 episode 1 script

SHOOTING SCRIPT DATED 27/06/16 BBC SCOTLAND STILL GAME EPISODE 1 - "GADGETS" Written by FORD KIERNAN AND GREG HEMPHILL THE SENDING OF THIS SCRIPT DOES NOT CONSTITUTE AN OFFER THIS SCRIPT REMAINS CONFIDENTIAL AND THE PROPERTY OF THE BBC 1 INT JACK’S FLAT. LIVING ROOM. MORNING 1 (0930) 1 (JACK, VICTOR) Jack is putting down a couple of rolls and sausage. Jack looks at his watch. There is a knock at the door. JACK: Clock work. Victor enters. VICTOR: Top of the morning, Jack boy. Wee bit nippy out there. JACK: Morning Victor. Victor observes the spread. Rolls, Teas, Penguins. He sits and opens the paper. Jack looks at Victor expectantly. JACK: (CONT’D) Eh...What’s happenin’? Victor munches on his roll and sausage. VICTOR: Gies a chance, Jack, I’ve no read it yet. JACK: No, the other paper. Ma paper to read. VICTOR: I just got the one. JACK: No, that’s no how it works. One of us does the rolls, the teas and the Penguins and the other one jumps down and gets the two papers. We read them then we swap. VICTOR: Ach aye. I just got the one. The headlines were the same. Plus the price is went up. So one’ll dae us. I’ll read this, then gie it to you. CONTINUED: Victor begins to read the paper. VICTOR: (CONT’D) Jeez-o. That’s a surprise. Ooft. Didnae see that comin’. “More on pages 6 and 7. He’s no deid, is he? Jeez that’s young! JACK: So let me get this right. You sit there and get all the news first hand I’ve to sit here with nae news. In the dark. Like a daftie. Out the loop. A caveman. A cromagnon! VICTOR: Put the telly on! Aah, of course, they didnae have tv back in Cromagnon times. Make a fire or whatever it is you people dae. Jack sighs. Victor gives in. VICTOR: (CONT’D) Are ye wanting the paper? JACK: Naw. Just Gimme that wee magazine that they always stick in the middle. Victor pulls out the “Futuroo” catalogue. VICTOR: (Affecting Caveman voice) MAGAZINE. GIFT. LOOK PICTURES. JACK: I will fashion a spear and stick it up your arse. (Same caveman voice) EYES MAKE WATER. Victor throws it to Jack. JACK: (CONT’D) I love these. Full of clever, handy stuff ye cannae get in the shops. There’s yer key ring calculator. VICTOR: What de ye need that for? (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: JACK: That would dae a janitor. “How many daft keys have I got here? Oh haud on I’ve got a wee calculator here.” (Reading) Thermal cup. “Keep yer cuppa piping hot!” VICTOR: I don’t see the benefit of that. JACK: Well, Ye make a cup of tea, you go for a biscuit, slip, faw, snap yer leg, up the hospital, 4 hours on a gurney, ignored! Up the road a again, greeting wi’ the pain, gasping for a cup of tea, Oh hello! Roasting hot cup of tea just the way you left it! Perfect! VICTOR: That is a handy thing. Bad fracture. Nice cup of tea. JACK: Look at this! It’s a big magnifying glass ye clip onto the newspaper, turns awe the print big. VICTOR: That would be good. If ye had a newspaper tae read. Jack looks up from his catalogue. Victor raises his paper up and returns to reading. JACK: Hmph. (Jack chuckles) Look at this. VICTOR: What is it? JACK: It’s the shite you get as well. The Eggmaster 3000. This is aimed at wankers. What it does is, you stick two eggs in it the night before.. VICTOR: Uh-huh. CONTINUED: JACK: ...and it boils them for you before you wake up! VICTOR: Haha! JACK: And if you order it before the end of the month you get the Toastie soldier companion! VICTOR: (Laughing) Eggmaster 3000!!! Gies a look at it. JACK: You can read it when I’m done wi’ it. JACK: (CONT’D) Eggmaster 3000 What kind of windae licker would part with his money for that? HARD CUT TO: 2 INT. WINSTON’S FLAT. LIVING ROOM/FRONT DOOR DAY 1 (1000) 2 (WINSTON, CHRIS THE POSTIE) Winston is on the phone. He is holding a Futuroo catalogue open. WINSTON: Yes. The Eggmaster 3000 please. Winston licks his thumb and rubs a mark off his window. WINSTON: (CONT’D) And am I still eligible for the Toastie soldier companion? You dancing bear. That’s great, thanking you. Would I like expedited delivery? What does Expedited mean? Quicker. Aye gies that, Hen. Cheerio now. Winston’s doorbell goes. WINSTON: (CONT’D) What a service! He goes to the front door and opens it. Chris the Postie stands before him. CHRIS: Registered letter. Winston signs the electric box. Chris looks at it disparagingly. CHRIS: (CONT’D) Is that yer signature, aye? WINSTON: Yes. Exactly the same as it always is. (Points to his signature) Yingimnyingyem. Winston slams the door in his face and opens his letter. He returns to his living room and lays it out on the table.
2 CONTINUED: 2 WINSTON: (CONT’D) Oh dear. Well that’s a surprise. Better run round the place with the hoover. 3 INT NAVID’S DAY 1 (1030) 3 (NAVID, ISA, WINSTON) Isa dusting cans. Navid emerges from the beads. He watches Isa from behind. Her bum is wiggling away while she is dusting. NAVID: You know, Isa, I never give you anything. Beat. Isa turns and looks at Navid. A hint of romance on her face. ISA: How de ye mean? Navid pulls a mop from behind the counter. ISA: (CONT’D) A mop? NAVID: No just any mop, Isa. He turns the mop to reveal the legend emblazoned on it: NAVID: (CONT’D) Got you something out the Futuroo catalogue. The Floor Hear-o! ISA: Ooh, Navid, I’m no needing that, I like ma string mop. Navid lifts the mop. It has three measly strings left. NAVID: C’mon. That mop looks like it’s had chemo. And anyway. The Floor Hear-o has Bluetooth. ISA: Bluetooth? It’s normally Detol I use. Navid pulls out headphones. 3 CONTINUED: 3 NAVID: Dear oh dear. (Patronizing) Bluetooth gives you wireless music, Isa. ISA: Wireless? NAVID: Nae Wires. Wire free! Do you no know nothing? ISA: But if I want music, Navid, there’s a perfectly good transistor there! NAVID: That’s for me to listen to my quality music. This is for you to listen to your shite. It makes your mopping a whole lot simpler cause the music makes the chore pass much quicker. Winston enters and begins shopping. Navid puts the headphones on Isa. Her face lights up. Isa sidles off, mopping and shaking her behind to the music. ISA: It’s got a lovely fast action! HELLO WINSTON! NAVID GOT ME THESE! AS A PRESENT! Winston recoils in fright. He heads to the counter. Navid smiles at Winston and leans in. NAVID: It’s actually a present for all of us. WINSTON: Eh? Winston’s face lights up. He turns to Isa. WINSTON: (CONT’D) Aah, earmuffs for a nosy cow! Isa just smiles. (CONTINUED) 3 CONTINUED: 3 WINSTON: (CONT’D) JACK AND VICTOR HAVE WENT AFF THEIR HEIDS AND THEY’VE JUMPED OFF THE HIGH FLATS. Isa smiles, not hearing a thing. WINSTON/NAVID: He he he. Navid and Winston share a knowing laugh. Navid has played a blinder. ISA: When’s your house guest coming? WINSTON: What? Isa ghosts over. She takes her headphones off. She cooly scans Winston’s basket. ISA: Well, big tin of soup instead of small tin, Full loaf, when you normally take a wee one, a dozen eggs, not six. And the quilted toilet roll. You usually buy the cheap stuff that yer fingers go through... You’ve got a house guest visiting. I’m asking when? NAVID: Scary. Winston is raging. WINSTON: See you, Isa? You should grow a moustache, well, a thicker moustache. Get it waxed up at the ends and get a job mopping on the Orient Express ya nosy bastard ye! Winston heads to the door, beaten again. Isa goes back to her mopping. Winston exits. ISA: Right, that’s me away! NAVID: Okey dokey. 3 CONTINUED: 3 Navid quickly inspects the floor. NAVID: (CONT’D) Haud on! You’ve missed a big bit there! ISA: Aye. I tried moppin there but the music wouldnae go on my Wi-Fi. It’s a cold spot they call that. Cheeryby! 4 INT CLANSMAN DAY 1 (1115) 4 (TAM, BOABBY, ERIC, JACK, VICTOR, WALTER, WINSTON) Tam is thumbing through the Futuroo catalogue. TAM: Spider Catcher. 19.99? Not a chance. Batter it with a slipper. 20 quid saved. What’s this noo? An Ionic Shoe Freshener. 49.99! Bollocks. Shoes aff, stinking. Lidl’s “Ssst. Ssst.” Thruppence worth of a squirt, Cotton fresh. Boabby takes Tam’s magazine. He looks at it with disgust. BOABBY: Aimed at pensioners! “That’ll make my meaningless life easier. This might keep me out the grave for another 15 minutes!” Look at this. An Electric Bunnet. “Outsmart Jack Frost this winter with the Hot Cap. Shite. ERIC: No shite, Boabby. It’s Toasty. It came the day. Magic. Eric takes his hat off and demonstrates. ERIC: (CONT’D) Yer wee PP3 battery goes in there. Awe the lining in there is like a mini electric blanket. Eric switches it on. Everybody stares at him. ERIC: (CONT’D) Wait! There ye go. It’s kickin in noo! BOABBY: Very good. You wanting a pint or what? ERIC: Aye. I’ll a take a pint of cider. Lots of ice!, Boabby.
Eric takes his jacket off. ERIC: (CONT’D) I’m roasting! I’m sweatin’ like Pavarotti’s pallbearers. Jack and Victor enter. BOABBY: Look who it is! Chas and Dave! JACK: That’s right and you put the Cock in Cockney. Two pints, prick! A man comes in at the back of them. He looks similar to Winston in shape, face and same coloured clothes. VICTOR: And get a pint for Winston. BOABBY: That’s no Winston. Jack and Victor turn round. BOTH: Walter! WALTER: Hey, long time to see! TAM: Must be what, WALTER: Lemme think noo...15 year! JACK: Have you seen Winston yet? WALTER: No. Thought I’d jump in for a quick pint first before I go over to see WINSTON! Winston walks in. WINSTON: What are you like? In here entertaining the troops before you visit yer brother! (CONTINUED) CONTINUED: Winston limps over. WALTER: A drink for ma brother! In fact get one fur everybody! WALTER: (CONT’D) What happened to your leg? WINSTON: Lost it. Fags. WALTER: Oh dear. Winston grabs Walter’s right hand. WINSTON: Anyway, how ye doin’? Winston shakes his arm. It extends by about a foot and a half. Something is badly wrong. WINSTON: (CONT’D) What happened to your arm? WALTER: Lost it. Rigs. Winston looks round. Everyone is stifling a laugh. WALTER: (CONT’D) Got a big payday oot it! WINSTON: That’s good. So where have you been? WALTER: Where have I no been? I was on the Heimdal gas field. Transferred and got moved to Oselvar. Oil. That awe travels via the Northpipe tae- The boys are enthralled. Walter hears snoring. We cut to see Eric is asleep. WALTER: (CONT’D) Stop me if I’m boring ye! TAM: No, no, you’re no boring him it’s the battery bunnet. Tam taps Eric on the head. TAM: (CONT’D) Eric, wake up ya auld tit! Tam lifts the hat off Eric’s head. He reacts to the hat being scorching! Eric’s head is bright red. TAM: (CONT’D) Bloody hell! It’s roasting! Tam juggles the hat like a hot potato. Smoke comes off it. He throws it on the bar counter. It bursts into flames. Everyone reacts! ALL: Haaawwwwww! Eric wakes up. Boabby lifts the soda gun and douses it. It hisses out. The danger is over. ERIC: No ma good bunnet! That cost me an arm and a leg! Everyone reacts to Eric’s faux pas. ALL: Haaaaaaaaw! Winston and Walter laugh.
5 INT JACK AND VICTOR’S LANDING. MORNING 2 (1000) 5 (JACK, VICTOR, ISA, CHRIS THE POSTIE) Jack emerges from his flat. Isa stands before him, at her door. ISA: Morning, Jack. JACK: (Taken aback) Morning, Isa. After a few beats, Victor emerges from his flat. VICTOR: Jack. Isa. JACK: Victor. ISA: Victor. Morning. VICTOR: Morning to you too. A few more dry beats. We cut back and forth between their smiling, waiting expressions. Eventually, the lift pings open. Chris the Postie emerges. He gets a fright at the three of them standing there. CHRIS: What’s this? Have I got off the lift at a zombie movie? Dawn of the Decrepit? JACK: Very funny. You got something for us? CHRIS: I do as it happens. I’ve got something for all of ye. Chris hands out three parcels, one to each. Victor’s is small, Isa’s is medium sized, Jack’s is large. 5 5 All three recognise the Futuroo wrapping paper on each parcel and nod knowingly to one another. ALL: Aaaaahhhh. ISA: All different sizes. A wee innovation fur each of us. Tae make life that wee bit easier. Whose gonnie kick things aff. VICTOR: Allow me. He opens his box and presents a stone. JACK: A stone. VICTOR: At first glance. Observe! Victor takes out his house keys and puts them inside the stone. ISA: What’s the good of that? VICTOR: If I come in one night, after an evening in the Clansman and discover I’ve lost my keys because I’m pished or what have you, then I’ve got a set right here. Disguised as a common or garden pebble. JACK: Which wouldnae look oot a place in the garden but this is a landing. VICTOR: Eh? Oh aye. JACK: A robber would see that and say “Oooh, there’s one of they plastic Futuroo hide yer key pebbles.” That’ll save me kicking the door in. (CONTINUED) 5 CONTINUED: 5 Victor puts it down by his front door. VICTOR: Shut up. It looks good there. Like a rockery. JACK: Like yer starting a rockery. A one rock rockery. A shitey rockery. ISA: Ye should get doon the garden centre and get mair rocks roon aboot it. Isa opens her parcel. It is a wee brown plastic dog. She switches it on and puts it down on the door mat. She flashes a wee handset device. She goes into her house and shuts the door. ISA: (CONT’D) Watch. Jack and Victor look at each other. ISA: (OOV) (CONT’D) CHAP MA DOOR! Jack and Victor knock. The dog speaks, we hear Isa’s voice: DOG: Who is it, please? JACK: You know who it is. DOG: For the purposes of demonstration please state your name. VICTOR: Victor McDade and Jack Jarvis. JACK: Esquire. ISA: I’m sorry I can’t come to the door right now as I’m making Cock-ALeekie soup. So bugger off.
5 CONTINUED: 5 BOTH: Good/That’s a handy thing, that. DOG: Right. Come in and show me what you got, Jack. Jack. Jack? Victor? Jack and Victor are gone. HARD CUT TO: 6 INT JACK’S FLAT - BATHROOM. DAY 2 (1030) 6 (JACK, VICTOR) Jack and Victor stand in front of a fancy, white electronic “Bath Tidy” which sits across the bath full of gadgets. Radio, reading stand, soap dispenser etc. Two plastic white lights Packed with shite. VICTOR: Woaf. That is the bollocks. The business. The daddy of them all. What the hell is it? JACK: What’s your bath time routine? VICTOR: I don’t take a bath. Routinely. Too much hassle. I dae my ablutions with ma shower head. JACK: Ablutions? VICTOR: Aye, Ye know, Roon the houses. Oxters, arsehole, clacker bag. JACK: Thank you, Victor. I’ve now got that in Panavision. But I know what you’re saying. I’m the same. I just use the shower. To men of oor age, a bath is a pain in the arse. But with the Techno Tub. No-sir-ee. Soap dispenser, dish there, thermometer there, beer holder, book stand, lights and the piece to resistance, Jack switches on a dial. We hear an old tune. JACK: (CONT’D) Bath time’s a pleasure. And I’ll be having one tonight. VICTOR: Nice. Much was it? 6 CONTINUED: 6 JACK: 34.99. VICTOR: Aye. That’s better than a dummy stone right enough. Once ye’ve used that tonight, I’ll take a shot of it and have a good steep masel.. JACK: Naw. The Techno Tub’s a personal thing. That’s like taking a lain of a man’s sponge. Away and fondle yer stone. Victor leaves. 7 EXT STREET DAY 2 (1400) 7 (TAM, ERIC, WALTER, WINSTON, JACK) Tam and Eric stand with Walter and Winston. Walter is finishing a funny story. WALTER: (Jerks a thumb to Winston) Two of us are steaming and he turns roon and says “Naw, you haud it’s heid! I’ll put the wellies on it!” Tam and Eric lose it. They are all laughing. Jack approaches. He carries Soap and a new sponge. JACK: What huv I missed, what’s awe the laughing aboot? ERIC: Ma ribs are sore. TAM: It’s Walter here, you could be a stand-up comedian, son! Or youse could be a double act. But you’d huv to go the straight man, Winston. Everyone laughs. ERIC: Or the clown that comes oot before the main event! JACK: Aye cause he’s it and you’re shit! That could be yer double act name! “Ladies and Gentlemen, a big hand,” nae offence, Walter, “for IT AND SHIT!” WINSTON: Thanks, fur that, Jack. JACK: Sorry. 7 CONTINUED: 7 WALTER: Right, where are we gaun, the bookies? Let’s flash some cash! WINSTON: Naw, naw. Stevie the bookie’s a wrong ‘un. WALTER: How? WINSTON: Long story. Everyone smiles and looks at their shoes. WINSTON: (CONT’D) Right. I had an accumulator come up. 35 grand. Stevie does a runner. Then he comes back, Shaves his heid baldy and claims to be his brother. I stay in his toilet awe night and bust him, so he pays me, but I cannae stay oot the place and I start losing it. I’m down to my last few quid then bingo I get it awe back. Stick it in ma leg which flew out the windae and a ned ran away with all ma lolly. (To Jack) Ye remember awe that? JACK: Vaguely. WINSTON: How about the Greyhounds? Where’s Victor? JACK: Up the garden centre buying bloody pebbles. WINSTON: What fur? JACK: He’s a crackpot. WINSTON: You want tae come wi’ us? Jack waves his new sponge and bar of soap. (CONTINUED)
7 CONTINUED: 7 JACK: Naw. I’m going up the road tae have a bath. I’ve no had a bath for two year! Everybody steps back from Jack. JACK: (CONT’D) I’ve had showers and that. Naw, youse enjoy yourselves. 8 INT JACK’S FLAT - BATHROOM. NIGHT 2 (1800) 8 (JACK) Jack has got his big tartan robe on. He is watching his bath fill up. He presses on the lights then turns the overhead light off to see the water sparkling. He turns on the radio and hums along with the tune. JACK: Ooh, look at you, filling up lovely. Jack decants a tin of beer into a pint tumbler and places it in the glass holder on the bath tidy. He checks the temp on the bath tidy. JACK: (CONT’D) Temperature’s just tickety-boo. Book stand. Jack pulls from his robe a giant grave stone slab of Dairy Milk and puts it on the book stand. JACK: (CONT’D) I’ll be getting intae you, shortly and I don’t know when I’ll be getting out! We see the robe falling to the floor to Jack’s feet and the sound of him entering the bath. 9 INT JACK AND VICTOR’S LANDING. NEXT MORNING 3 (0930) 9 (JACK V/O, VICTOR, ISA) Victor emerges with a pack of Digestives. The floor space outside his door is now covered with pebbles. He steps over them stumbling and trying to get his balance. VICTOR: 16 quid for this pile of shit. He eventually navigates them and arrives and knocks Jack’s door. Nothing. He knocks it again. JACK: (OOV) (Muffled) Victor! Victor cocks his ear. What was that? JACK: (CONT’D) Victor! Victor opens the letter box. VICTOR: Jack? JACK: Help! VICTOR: Huv ye fell!? JACK: Naw I’m stuck in the bath I’ve been in it all night? VICTOR: Oh Jesus! Haud on! Isa’s dog’s eye’s light up. DOG: What’s all the commotion? Victor runs and raps Isa’s door. VICTOR: Isa! Isa! Jack’s stuck in the bath! (CONTINUED) 9 CONTINUED: 9 DOG: Who’s calling? VICTOR: It’s me, Victor. Open the door! DOG: I’m sorry, I cannot receive guests, at the moment for I am in my dressing gown eating toast and reading my Bella magazine. Victor snatches up the dog and begins shouting in its face. VICTOR: LISTEN TO ME YOU HALFWIT! OPEN THIS BLOODY DOOR, JACK’S STUCK IN THE BATH! GET IT OPENED OR I’LL RIP THIS DUG’S LEGS AFF! Isa opens the door. Victor has run back across the landing. VICTOR: (CONT’D) (trying the door.) It’s locked! ISA: Put yer shoulder tae it! VICTOR: Oot the road. Victor takes a feeble run and hits it like snowball hitting a gas fire. He hits it again. Same result. He kicks it feebly. ISA: MOVE! Victor gets out the way. Isa runs full steam at the door. She knocks it clean off its hinges. 10 INT JACK’S FLAT - BATHROOM. DAY 3 (0930) 10 (JACK, VICTOR, ISA) Victor and Isa enter frantically. VICTOR: Jack, ye awright? What’s happened here? JACK: What de ye thinks happened? I’ve thought this bath is that good I’ve decided to live in it! I’m stuck! I cannae get oot! ISA: Jack, yer wullie! Victor grabs a small face cloth. VICTOR: Here, I’ll cover that up! JACK: Wi’ a bigger towel!!! ISA: Who takes a bloody bath first thing in the morning? JACK: I took it last night! VICTOR: And ye’ve took another one this morning? JACK: I’VE BEEN IN HERE SINCE LAST NIGHT! BOTH: Bloody hell/Oh my! JACK: Look at the state of ma skin I’m like Judy Finnegan! VICTOR: And ye cannae lift yersel oot? (CONTINUED)
10 CONTINUED: 10 JACK: I’m awe stuck to the sides, like suction! ISA: Just pull the plug oot! JACK: I cannae, it’s directly under ma ringer I’ve tried that! VICTOR: Don’t panic! JACK: Panic? I’m no panicking! I’m past the panicking bit! I was panicking for about ten hours, but that’s past noo! ISA: Call 911! JACK: What, for American Police? VICTOR: Away ye go, ya hofwit! “Is that CSI Miami, ma pals stuck in the bath. Where? Glesga!” Idiot. It’s 999! JACK: Haud on, Victor, you cannae dae that! VICTOR: How? JACK: That’s for emergencies, I’m no dyin! I’m just wanting out the bath. There’s a number ye phone when yer having trouble wi’ a bath? ISA: BnQ. VICTOR! Naw! I know what it is, it’s 101. 10 10 JACK: That’s crime! I’ve no been robbed. The only thing that’s getting robbed is ma bastardin’ dignity! ISA: Aaaaagh! I know what it is! VICTOR: What? ISA: This happened to Big Janice Mcafferty her wi’ the eating disorder you know who I’m talking aboot she’s barred from Gregg’s fur grazing she got stuck and her man called.... Everyone waits. VICTOR: Her man called.... JACK: Man called..... ISA: Kenny. JACK: THE NUMBER HE CALLED YA DAFT COW! ISA: NHS Ambulance services department. Isa runs out the bathroom ISA: (CONT’D) THAT’S WHO YOU CALL! 11 INT NAVID’S. LATE MORNING 3 (1100) 11 (NAVID, WINSTON, WALTER, MEENA) Winston and Walter arrive in the shop. They sidle up to the counter. WINSTON: Navid. Meet my brother. Walter. NAVID: Walter. Nice to see you. What can I do you for? WALTER: Cigars? What huv ye got? Navid turns round and selects a single panatella. NAVID: Cigars! I have classy ones for the man about town and not so classy ones for the man about scheme. WALTER: Classy. Always classy. NAVID: Claaassy. I used to be a half Corona man myself. That was when we lived in Gujarat. WALTER: I know Gujarat. NAVID: You know Gujarat? WALTER: Oh aye. I worked in LaHore for long enough. The guy I worked wi’ was from Gujurat. Aftab Jarwar. He was a good laugh. Tiny wee fella. He was only about 4 foot six. Walter switches into Punjabi WALTER: (CONT’D) (Translation:) But he had a cock like an elephant. 11 11 Navid and Walter piss themselves laughing. NAVID: (In Punjabi) A cock like an elephant! That’s a cracker. Meena shouts from behind the beads. MEENA: Aftab Jarwar? I think I might have met him! Navid, Walter and Meena are howling with laughter. Winston is trying to join in the laughter. It fades. Navid sticks the cigar in Walter’s shirt pocket. NAVID: Here. Take that. That’s a better laugh than he’s ever gied me! Winston laughs again weakly. There is an awkwardly silence. NAVID: (CONT’D) Have YOU ever been anywhere good, Winston? WINSTON: Eh. Aye. RawalPindi. NAVID: Oh! In the Punjab region? WINSTON: No, in the Sauchiehall Street region. Next to the dry cleaners. Nice Pakora. Winston smiles expecting a laugh. He gets nothing. Tough shop. 12 INT JACK’S FLAT - BATHROOM DAY 3 (1130) 12 (JACK, VICTOR, BIG JOHN, ISA) Jack is asleep. Eventually, he stirs. When he wakes, he looks confused. How was he sleeping? He sniffs. Something’s not right. Jack freaks out, splashing water everywhere. We cut wide to see that Victor is taking a shit. JACK: What the hell are ye daein? VICTOR: Sorry Jack I was putting if off for ages, I’ve hud tae park a loaf in yer lavvy! JACK: Ye animal! Who does that? You only live next door! VICTOR: I couldnae leave ye yersel in the bath, ye’ve been asleep! You could huv done a Whitney Houston! JACK: Where are these people that are supposed to be getting me out the bath? VICTOR: That’s nearly two hours since we found ye, they’re surely due noo! JACK: And if they come right noo, they’re gonnie be confused! “Dearie me, This is a dilemma, who do we save first? The poor auld fella stuck in the bath or the silly auld duffer, superglued to the shiter! Finish yer manky business and get aff ma pan! VICTOR: Right look away. 12 12 Jack looks away. Victor does up his trousers. An irate, very large man enters. VICTOR: (CONT’D) Hello! You must be from the services. JACK: Naw! This is big John fae doon stairs! How are you, John? JOHN: What’s gaun on here? VICTOR: He’s stuck in the bath, son. JOHN: Are ye? Well I’ve got water coming doon into ma bathroom. Which I’ve been daein up for the last three months and I’ve just finished. Only to look up and see drip drip drip drip! The man bundles past Victor. JOHN: (CONT’D) Oot the way! The man removes the front panel of the bath. JOHN: (CONT’D) Look at that. Soakin. Rotten. That needs sorted! I told you about that, two year ago! VICTOR: Look, keep the heid. There’s an ambulance on it’s way! JOHN: If I get any mair water doon on me it’ll be a hearse yer needin’! The man stomps out. JACK: Charmin’. VICTOR: Where are these toerags? (CONTINUED) 12 CONTINUED: 12 Isa comes in dressed. ISA: Are they still not here? JACK: Absolutely typical, intit? Leaving an old man stuck in the bath. VICTOR: It’s disgusting. It’s because the pensioner isnae a priority! ISA: Aye, dirty lazy pigs, we’re the bottom of the pile and no mistake! VICTOR: How long did they say they’d be? ISA: Who? VICTOR: The emergency services? ISA: What did they say to me? JACK: When you called them! ISA: I didnae call them! I thought Victor’d called them, I was away getting ready! JACK: You couple of stupid arseholes! Victor and Isa run out the bathroom. JACK: (OOV) (CONT’D) VICTOR! Victor pokes his head back in the toilet. VICTOR: Yes, Jack! JACK: Flush!
12 CONTINUED: 12 VICTOR: Oh aye! Victor flushes the toilet. 13 INT STEVIE THE BOOKIE’S DAY 3 (1145) 13 (WINSTON, WALTER, STEVIE) Walter and Winston are watching a horse race. Stevie the Bookie looks on from his counter. He smiles at Winston, who looks away in disgust. WALTER: C’mon then. C’mon then. Bingo! WINSTON: Beat by a bawhair! Winston scrumples up his bookie slip in the old school style. He accompanies Walter to the counter. Walter heads to the window first, offering his slip. STEVIE: Excuse me, a minute sir, if I could just tend to this customer first. Stevie signals to Winston. WALTER: Oh aye. Of course. Walter steps out the way, leaving Stevie to do a victory gloat dance right in Winston’s face. Winston takes it in silence. It lasts for however long the episode is short. Stevie’s dance comes to an abrupt end. He turns to Walter. Walter looks to Winston quizzically. “What was that about?” WINSTON: Just ignore him, Walter. STEVIE: How can I help you? WALTER: Wee accumulator came up there. STEVIE: (affable) Nice! Lemme see. Now you don’t see that very often. You’ve started with a pound. Ye’ve predicted McPherson in round three last night. Score draw, next, they’re very tricky. (MORE) 13 13 STEVIE: (CONT'D) The winner at Hamilton. And you never took the odds. That was clever. Stevie casts an eye at Winston. STEVIE: (CONT’D) £210. Well done. Stevie grins at Winston. Winston shakes his head. But he’s not annoyed. He smiles to himself at the irony of his arch enemy cosying up to his brother. Walter takes the money with his plastic hand. STEVIE: (CONT’D) Smart accumulator. Clever. That’s took a bit of nouse. I wouldn’t mind buying you a pint and picking yer brains about your process! WALTER: Anytime! WINSTON: Aye, anytime. STEVIE: Naw, I was referring to the winners’ enclosure. Winston and Walter make to leave. STEVIE: (CONT’D) Winston! Winston turns. Stevie reprises his “Victory” dance to annoy him. 14 INT JACK’S FLAT - BATHROOM DAY 3 (1200) 14 (JACK, VICTOR, ISA) Victor enters. Isa is sitting on the loo. VICTOR: You’re no taking a dump an awe are ye? ISA: Indeed I am not ya filthy pig! JACK: What did they say? VICTOR: Yer no gonnie like this. They said it could be up to six hours. JACK: I’ll no last another six hours. This water’s gaun cold. ISA: We can fix that, wi’ a wee top up. Isa turns on the hot water tap but it’s tight. ISA: (CONT’D) It’s no comin’. Victor rolls up his sleeves. VICTOR: Please. He moves past her to the tap. He applies a serious amount of pressure to turn it. It comes away in his hand. Water gushes out the tap. JACK: That’s quite nice. That’s gettin hot. That’s getting too hot, Victor! It’s ROASTING IT’S SCORCHING! SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY THAT’S TOO MUCH! You’d be as well throwing totties in here! 14 14 ISA: Ye need the cauld tae coonter it! Isa turns on the cold tap. VICTOR: Right! It’s now or never! Grab my hands Jack! Jack grabs Victor’s hands. VICTOR: (CONT’D) Ye ready? One! Two Three! Victor has no leverage. He topples into the bath on top of Jack. Water pishes everywhere. Isa lifts a bucket. She begins to bail water from the bath to the toilet sink. It’s going everywhere. Victor crawls out. His soaking clothes are dripping everywhere. He slips on the floor. 15 INT CLANSMAN AFTERNOON 3 (1400) 15 (BOABBY, WINSTON, WALTER) Winston and Walter are draining a pint. Boabby stands cleaning tumblers. WALTER: (Awkward) Well, I better be hitting the road. That’s a good gang of pals you’ve got here, Winston. WINSTON: Aye, I’m very lucky. Jack, Victor, Tam, Eric, Isa, Navid. Boabby waits patiently for his mention. WINSTON: (CONT’D) Oh aye. I nearly forgot. Stevie the bookie. Boabby gives up and heads into the stock room. WALTER: Aye the bookie. I liked him. Great guy. WINSTON: Oh aye. Great guy. Salt of the earth. (Under his breath) Which I wish he was under. Beat. WALTER: It’s a shame about poor old Auntie Lily, dying, intit? WINSTON: And there it is. WALTER: There what is? WINSTON: The reason for your visit, Walter. Yer bus is in an hour, but there was one wee last bit of business you had to take care of. The bite. 15 15 WALTER: I don’t know what yer talking aboot! Winston pulls out a letter. The one he received at the beginning of the episode. WINSTON: This is the letter telling me Lily had passed. As soon as it arrived, I knew you wouldn’t be long at the back of it. Cause that’s how you operate. Four times I’ve seen you in the last forty years. Each time to borrow money. From me. Money you never paid back. You never even showed at oor Ma’s or our Dad’s funerals. That’s because they had nothing. Walter nods, knowing. He’s been busted. WALTER: So was there any... WINSTON: Money? Yes. Lily left four thousand. WALTER: So that’s two thousand each? WINSTON: No. Winston takes out an envelope. He pushes it across the table. WINSTON: (CONT’D) Take the lot. Walter leaves. 16 INT JACK’S FLAT - BATHROOM DAY 3 (1430) 16 (JACK, VICTOR, ISA, BIG JOHN) Big John from down the stairs stomps in. JOHN: I warned you! My ceiling is soaking noo! How can you still be stuck? ISA: I know, it’s a helluva carry on right enough they’re sayin’ on the phone it could be up tae six- JOHN: Shut up! I’m no wanting yer life story ya daft auld trout! Huv ye any Fairy Liquid? JACK: Aye! Under ma sink in the kitchen! John runs out. ISA: What’s he gonnie dae wi’ Fairy Liquid, Jack? JACK: Maybe he just wants to get his temper doon, dae a few dishes. ISA: I, it’s like therapy, that, intit? Anger management. John comes back in JOHN: Oot the road! John squirts fairy liquid all down Jack’s back and yanks him out the bath like a bear. Victor puts the robe on him. JACK: Listen son. I’m really sorry I let water doon on yer new bathroom. (MORE) 16 16 JACK: (CONT'D) But I was stuck in that bath aboot sixteen hours! JOHN: What ye doin taking a bath at your age? Victor drags the Techno tub bath tidy out the bath. VICTOR: He normally takes a shower but he bought this! JOHN: What is it? JACK: Techno tub! It’s does everything. Radio, lights, temperature. VICTOR: It’s a great thing. JOHN: What do you do with it? Victor sits it on the bath. VICTOR: It just sits there. Voila. The bath disappears under its own weight through the floor. VICTOR: (CONT’D) Techno Tub. JACK: Bath tidy. Isa stares down the hole. ISA: Yer bathroom really is lovely. Was that a new shower cubicle? Post Sig 17 INT CLANSMAN NIGHT 3 (2215) 17 (JACK, VICTOR, WINSTON, TAM, BOABBY, ISA, ERIC) Everybody is gathered. They are all quite bevvied. JACK: It’s no just what Walter says, it’s the way he says it. It’s a gift, that. TAM: You just have to look at him and he creases ye up. VICTOR: That must be a bit weird for you Winston. WINSTON: How so? VICTOR: Just, having the older brother who’s the life and soul and eh... WINSTON: Funnier than me? ALL: Noo! Didnae say that. Deserving of a watch etc WINSTON: Ye cannae be jealous of family. Anyway, he’s away noo so you’ll just have to put up with the support act. Everyone chuckles. Boabby picks up a notepad awkwardly. BOABBY: Away? Em, Winston, so over the last couple of days? Walter’s ran up a tab here. 40 quid. Winston blanches, before going into his pocket without missing a beat. 17 17 WINSTON: Calm doon. He telt me aboot that. He gave me this to square ye up. Did ye think he’d done a runner? BOABBY: No! That’s great. Right. Sorry. Winston hands Boabby 40 quid. JACK: To Walter. ALL: To Walter. WINSTON: Aye, to Walter. We see the wistful look on Winston’s face. Once again he bails out his brother. Hard cut:
18 INT. JACK AND VICTOR’S LANDING. NIGHT 3 (2230) 18 (JACK, VICTOR, ISA? VOICE FROM DOG) Jack leans against Victor’s front door. He is in full gloat. JACK: Still nae joy? Victor is on his knees looking through his “rockery”, chucking stones over his shoulder. VICTOR: Which one was it?! Isa’s electronic door dog’s eyes glow white as it comes to life DOG: Want me to make up the couch? Jack and Victor stare at the dog. They begin to throw rocks at it. END OF EPISODE

How do I work out my profit for an accumulator bet in the likelihood I'll lose at the bookmakers?

32 red making me pry my winnings from their cold dead hands.

bookies offers new customers video

New customers using Promo code H30 only, Min £10/€10 stake, min odds 1/2, free bets paid as 2 x £15/€15, free bets credited after settlement of first qualifying bet, free bets will expire 30 days after the qualifying bet is placed, payment method/player/country restrictions apply. « 1; 2 » Most regular bettors in the UK have accounts with multiple betting sites and bookmakers, giving New online bookies offer increased odds on several markets to make betting with them more profitable. On top of that, they might provide other odds boost for new customers. That helps to establish the name of a bookie that offers players great value. Variety of payment methods New customers only. Min deposit £10 (UK Debit cards only). Bet £10 at odds of evens (2.0) or greater. Multiple bets with cumulative odds of evens (2.0) count, each leg must have odds of 1/5 (1.2) to be eligible. Each way bets are eligible for this promotion. Upon qualifying bet settlement, 1 x £5.00 Free Bet will be credited to your account. Once the first £5.00 Free Bet has been used a The Paddy Power welcome offer allows new customers to place a risk-free first bet, meaning they get a full cash refund if it loses. In addition, you get a £5 free bet to use on a Same Game Multi. Existing Paddy Power customers also get lots of money back football betting offers, for example, up to £10 back in cash if a certain team wins or a particular player scores. Claim £20 offer New As with all promotions, even ones from the supermarket, there are terms attached to pretty much all of these offers. When bookies offer free bets they want to incentivise new customers to try their service out, what they don’t want is for people to register, get the offer and then never be seen again. Our content is updated daily to ensure we always bring you the very latest betting offers for both new customers and existing customers, Here is a look at some of the best free bet offers from the newest bookies to hit the UK market. Spreadex – Bet £10 Get £20 in Free Bets. Bet £10 and get 2 x £10 free bets with this new offer from Spreadex, pay for one bet and get three chances to Best bookmaker offers for new customers in the UK. We want to get into as much detail as possible about new customer offers and welcome bonuses because it’s an important area of online betting. Our seasoned experts have taken a look at different areas including the overall value of a new customer promotion, what it takes to trigger and active them, and whether it is real cash or bonus bets If you have already signed up to all of the bookies on this page, try our new betting sites list for the latest bookie’s to launch in the UK. If you didn’t know, betting offers is the umbrella term for all bonuses bookmakers use to attract new customers or retain existing players. But, new customer betting offers can be triggered when you sign up (no deposit required), on your first Free bets and welcome offers are usually for new customers only and they are only available for people registering with a bookmaker for the first time. Despite of this we see an increasing number of bonus offers for existing customers. Bookies are getting better at rewarding loyal punters and many of them have loyalty programs, betting clubs or promo deals for existing players. This is giving New Bookies Software and Design. You will often find the latest software combined with a fresh and innovative design. But, credible and trusted bookmakers also have the financial backing to offer the best service available. To compete with the best, new bookmakers often have to be unique and innovative to incentivise new punters. New Customer Sign up Bonuses. New bookmakers usually have great

bookies offers new customers top

SportsBroker New Customer Offer - £100 First Trade Trial ...

Join SportsBroker, make your first trade, and if your team drops in value after their first match we'll refund any losses incurred up to a maximum of £100.Fu... Assalamu Alaikum Dosto today I show you PTA Announced New Offer For Customers... 💰💰💰 Visit https://bit.ly/TOP-CASINOS for my favourite ONLINE CASINOS ! 💰💰💰This is the new £2 stake 20p Roulette in William Hill which has been ... Jio New Offer For New & Existing Customers.JioEngage Play & Win.JioEngage Play & WinJioEngage has recently launched ‘Play & Win’ section on MyJio app, where ... About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators ... A quick look at how bookies win with every bet.MERCH: https://teespring.com/stores/tapakapas-little-merch-storePATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tapakapaREDDI... Book you first sessions in January and receive the first hour for free!! #onlinetuition #lockdowntuition #improveyourenglish1-2-1 #improveyourmaths1-2-1#1-2-...

Free Bets UK (2021) | Best New Sign Up Betting Offers

bookies offers new customers

bookies offers new customers - win

Matched Betting Extra Place Horse Racing - January 21 Profits - £4,707 on top of Full Time Job